And Life Goes On.

Tonight is the second night I have spent in our new home. It is much more spacious than anything I have lived in for years. Currently I am sitting down at the kitchen table, surrounded by things that need a place and enjoying a beer. I am completely for a loss on how things will progress from here, I can only imagine life will get worse before it gets better. I am still unemployed and our small EI claim for my wife's maternity leave doesn't even really cover the rent. Worse still I know that the loss of Eoin will only get more painful as things settle down.

The weekend was filled with relatives coming out to visit. Nothing brings family together like the reminder of our own mortality. For our part we avoided everyone and spent the time unpacking belongings. This house that isn't yet a home, has already become the most comfortable thing I can remember in over a year. I don't even know if the utilities are in our name yet, and the internet I am currently using is actually being borrowed from a neighbour. (I can only hope they left their access open under a utilitarian principle, one for which I am grateful.) So slowly over the coming weeks, we will continue to make this place our home, one small task at a time.

Tomorrow will be another task altogether however. At some time this weekend Eoin's remains were cremated. So at 10AM, we will be retrieving the urn that now contains the ashes of my sons bones. In a small way it will be a bit of closure to a long painful tale. I still don't know how I will react to receiving them. Hopefully it will be less painful then identifying the remains had been, even though that was a bit of closure in itself. I like to think that because most of this last year has been so paiful and difficult, that things will only start to get better. I hope it isn't too naive of me to believe that.

I wish I could share some of my future plans at the moment. Because every plan so far has gone up in smoke, I am currently left in a wait and see situation. The economy has tanked and with it so have most of the job opportunities. About a week ago I had a job interview for a technician position, however I am currently beginning to think that even that opportunity might be closed to me now. Sadly it was for the job repairing military equipment that I had mentioned once or twice before. It wasn't even a position that interested me all that much, but now I would probably jump at the chance.

Well, I might as well end this post here, I am sure it is probably depressing even for me. Hope everyone else is doing alright these days.